DIVISION IS ALL I KNOW

division is all i know

By M.S. Blues

division was my first teacher – 

they taught me the sides, 

the two sides my presence laid upon;

as well as how each side 

could never dare to cross separating lines. 

so, i embraced how it was. 

i remained ignorant to the reasons why.

i was just a child, just a little girl – 

believing notions and lies, 

until i grew up and finally realized, 

this division is wrong, 

this division is unnecessary, 

this division has gone on too long, 

this division is unfair. 

it’s tearing me apart, 

it’s eating me alive. 

i don’t know how much longer 

i can survive – 

the pot of steaming water 

that guards my heart 

is growing hotter, it’s becoming lava… 

i anticipate to die soon 

because of the division – 

maybe a stroke, 

maybe a heart attack, 

maybe a broken neck, 

or maybe a broken heart 

is what will take me out. 

i am not resilient anymore, 

that ship sailed, long ago,

the fight ceased. 

the ability to to just stay alive through the division feels like a chore,

and i just can’t do it. 

- 

now i’m a ghost, 

i’ve died. 

they ignored and disregarded my pursuit to dissolve the division,

and instead chastised me, 

yelled at me, took my emotions and exiled them. 

so now i’m a ghost, 

i’ve died. 

i heard the fly buzz, 

but not the birds singing. 

i see bones and dust, 

no colors cheering. 

you don’t have to decay physically to die, 

you can simply sit upright 

and look lost at the sky, 

while now they wonder if you’re alright, 

and you concur with whatever they say to get them out of sight – 

that’s what it means to die, 

because of division. 

rip to me, i suppose.