Never Enough

Never Enough

By S.K. Sanjana

I am no genius, 

It took me long enough to spell it out. 

I feel like a fraud, a phony, a fake, 

I am not able to give what it takes. 

Is it ever going to feel enough? 

I want to go back, 

But I know that I don't fit in that stack. 

My thoughts no longer rest, 

I am unable to get it off my chest. 

Is it ever going to feel enough? 

It is exhausting, we are just 14 and have our brains tested to be put in a criteria, 

if your performance is good, the bars are raised higher, 

they keep saying the sky is the limit, but the bars keep rising. 

We are just kids, turning 15, becoming self-aware, 

Learning to think, observing, and seeing how life moves. 

If your performance is not up to societal standards, 

You are put into the benchmark, constant comparison, 

fighting to beat time, gain marks, and turn your friends into enemies. 

Many of us lost the joy in the things we do. 

I recently saw a kid smiling while sprinting, 

It’s been a while since I enjoyed my run, my marks, my thoughts. 

My biggest fear, you ask, 

Disappointing my parents, to the ultimate point where they regret my birth. 

How much I do wish, that I could’ve died that night. 

A momentary death, an insignificant one. 

I am never going to feel enough.