Ew, David

EW, DAVID

By Carson Wolfe

after Schitt’s Creek, after Amy Kaye

Ew ingrown hair. Ew men who put their hand on my lower back to squeeze past. Ew landlords. Ew puppycinos. Ew buildings without recycling bins. Ew lads who walk around with their shirt off when it's a little bit warm. Ew baby daddies who work cash in hand to avoid paying child maintenance. Ew gender reveal. Ew Wade. Ew 5G mast in my neighbourhood. Ew dead bees in my yard. Ew systemic everything. Ew Snapchat jailbait filters. Ew the England men's football team. Ew museums full of stolen artifacts. Ew lesbian films directed by men.

You want me to work for exposure?

Ew.