Conflict
Conflict
A Student Philosophy Piece
By Anaya R.
One of the most contradictory and debatable topics is conflict. It comes in different forms, each having its own unique situation and solution. But what is conflict? Contrary to popular belief, conflict is not a ‘problem’ but instead, a serious disagreement or argument. It could arise from a difference in opinion, miscommunication, scarce resources, and so forth.
To consider this from a student’s or general teenager’s perspective, conflict comes to us mainly in the form of our parents, other peers, siblings, and sometimes even teachers. To many, it can be seen as menacing, or deplorable. When it arrives, knocking at our door like an uninvited guest, we usually tend to invite it in, regardless of our trepidation. When it leaves, it takes half of our energy with it. Because of the stigma we’ve created around it, conflict deliberately deprives us of our time and power, but it doesn’t have to.
Sometimes conflict is necessary and cannot be avoided. However, we sometimes bring conflict upon ourselves. Now, the question is, how do we identify when to engage in conflict and when to abstain from it? For that, I share a piece of personal advice given to me, which continues to guide me to this day.
My father once said that if you are ever in a situation in which your security, integrity, or future is threatened, you cannot escape conflict and have to confront it. But conversely, if your peace of mind is provoked, the simpler and better option is always to walk away from it.
To better elucidate this, let me give you an example on a political level. If one country provokes another, the defending country cannot evade this conflict and has to fight back to protect itself. Whereas, if we consider conflict on a personal level, say for instance, you and another group member have a different take on how a project shall be created. Instead of diving head first into an argument and disrupting your mental environment, why not talk it out and calmly communicate to work towards a common solution? Choosing this option is what allows you to avoid unwanted strain on relationships and prioritize what truly matters in the long run.
The conflicts we face are many. Academic pressure creates conflict with not only ourselves but with our teachers, parents, and peers. This is usually because of the unwavering expectations they have for us. These expectations tire us out relentlessly, as we struggle to maintain our grades while managing the heavy workload hanging over our heads at the same time. There is also the constant anxiety that we get from our fellow equals, who may want us to follow some social norms that go against our values and morals.
These obstacles we come across from time to time create rough patches in relationships. Whether it is a friend, lover, or family, it still takes a toll on our mental health and well-being.
As teenagers, we are all trying to fit in and make our place in the world, but unfortunately, life doesn't make it easy. So then, if the world doesn't allow for our peace, why can't we at least try to find our own?
The first step to tackling these conflicts is to identify and recognize what they are in the first place. It is of utmost importance to ask ourselves, what is the conflict and why is it happening?
The second step is to understand and approach the conflict with a cool and relaxed mind. Remember, if you have an open mind and are ready to listen without getting heated up, you have already solved half of the issue at hand. With your calm mental composition comes the willingness to communicate and express your feelings, opinions, and goals. Only with communication and empathy will any results of success and achievement come through.
The third step is to take into account that your situation may also encompass multiple parties. During those times, it is crucial to seek advice, support, and suggestions from others. Having options of various solutions on how others would fix the conflict allows you to apply the most suitable one.
The fourth step is to reflect and learn. The end result of each conflict has a lesson to carry forward in life. Reflecting and looking back on what you have learned or the skills you have honed and acquired at the end of the day can always come in use for the future.
Conflicts, though unpreventable at times, tend to provide positive and beneficial outcomes. So the next time you come across conflict, be sure to take a minute or two and really think about the results of the path you plan to take. Is it really worth spending your energy on or should you just let it pass by? At the end of the day, that decision lies solely in your hands.
