8 AM Musings

8 AM Musings

By Maariya

Today I was in the queue at my usual cafe when I saw an old man with a latte.

He held it with two hands, 

a leaf perfectly s c u l p t e d 

on the foam, 

taking care not to s

p 

i 

l 

l 

should it leak all over the saucer and ruin the facade.

I am thinking about my hair - 

should I cut it? 

I haven’t cut it since I was 

16. 

How much has changed since then. 

When I was 16 I was not drinking coffee, not like I am now. 

“Americano?” Should I cut it?

My card b e e p s 

loudly against the machine. 

my hair feels like my girlhood - 

to cut it to my shoulders feels like trying to be something I’m not,

but keeping it long is becoming tiring. 

The maintenance of it. 

I always get compliments on how long it is. 

At night it gets trapped underneath my shoulders. 

I take my coffee to a table that seats only one. It doesn’t spill. 

A light sheen of bubbles the color of 

bark or sunlight or barley 

sits atop, 

undisturbed. 

The cafe is quiet, the man finishes his latte. 

My friend tells me to cut my hair. 

I’m still the same person I was, even if I cut my hair, right? 

I’m still who I was when I was 16, 17. I’m turning 19 soon.

I know there is nothing I’m more terrified of in this moment of time.

By keeping the same hair from when I was 

16, 

technically I haven’t grown up, right?