How to Overcome a Page Filled With #FFFFFF
How to Overcome a Page Filled With #FFFFFF
By Isabel Gan
Irony
/ˈīrənē/ · noun
Prime example: Teenage girl writing an advice piece on how to get over a page filled with #FFFFFF as she sits there staring at a screen full of that same #FFFFFF (white, AKA a blank page), wondering what words are, and finally resorting to using herself as a prime example of irony to at least get a smattering of #000000 (black, AKA no longer a blank page) on there.
Now that she’s gotten over her blank page, without further ado, here’s how you can too:
i, One—slowly, laboriously, figure out what words are. Once you’ve done that, figure out what sentences are. And when you’ve done that, boom, you’re more than halfway there. I would argue closer to 85%.
ii, Two—gag a little as you string those words into sentences and combine those sentences into two, three, four. Don’t worry if it looks completely nonsensical but rather, trust the process. Do a little happy dance because you’re no longer staring at a page full of #FFFFFF. End of advice (just kidding).
iii, Three—gag even more. Choke and sputter as you look back at what you just wrote. Hit the backspace/delete button a thousand times as you wonder what in the world you were thinking when you wrote that. Know that it’s totally okay and normal because drafts are meant to be revised. Drafts are part of the writing process. Get those “shitty first drafts” down, according to Anne Lamott.
iv, Four—smile at your flash of insight as you realize you do understand what words, sentences, and the basics/not-so-basics of grammar are. Imagine yourself as a potter molding clay; shape your words into art as you master your craft. Edit as you go. Embrace the many changes you make as you weave a nuanced tapestry of words. Pull up the dictionary periodically to make sure you’re using the sophisticated-sounding words you’ve suddenly remembered correctly. At this stage, a thesaurus is helpful, especially if you’ve used “important” six times already. But make sure you do your research.
optional step: Delete everything you just wrote from steps one to three and start over because you want to bask in your newfound stroke of genius.
v, Five—keep the momentum going. Experiment with diction and syntax. Try something new: expand your vocabulary, be bold with your imagery, explore new poetry formats (sestinas, anyone?). Revel in your creativity and soak up everything you can. Admire others’ writing. Admire your writing.
note to self: Be wild and free.
vi, Six—proofread over and over (note that eyes getting a little blurry is a common side effect). Appraise and apprise mean different things; so do adverse and averse. Hyphens, en dashes, and em dashes are not the same. Periods and commas go inside closing quotation marks, please. Red and/or blue squiggly lines ought to be given special attention.
pro tip: Spelling and grammar checkers are your best friend, as well as reading out loud for flow and getting another pair of eyes on your writing. When in doubt, look it up or ask for help.
vii, Seven—hit submit, close your notebook, click save, close the tab(s), or however you want to conclude your session. Congratulate yourself on your brilliance, your perseverance, your [insert relevant quality] with all sincerity. For extra motivation, if you’re writing online, check your revision history and see how far you’ve come from when you first started.
viii, Eight—take a nap. You deserve it.
ix, Nine—wake up in a few hours, or the next day, and repeat step one.
You can do it again.
